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Yoopers (Real)Inhabitants Of The Upper Peninsula Of Michigan, USA, Earth
Date: 1998/11/08 Agree? Disagree? : Have Your Say Buy Books About This Topic At: Amazon UK Amazon US Send This Article To A Friend: Email It Use Telepathy Many hitchhikers in their travels have come across a track of wilderness punctuated by small towns in the region of Lake Superior, on the continent of North America on the planet Earth. What sets this place apart from the rest of the surrounding Lake Superior region is its curious inhabitants, who call themselves "Yoopers". The Yooper has not been in existence for very long, being the result of cross breeding Finns with Italians, Irish and Cornish people. While cautious around strangers, Yoopers will generally become very friendly if you offer to buy them a coffee. There are many distinguishing characteristics to a Yooper. Some of these include: AccentOn this planet there is no accent like this one. Many of the vowels' sounds are pronounced very differently from the normal way of speaking in the Midwest, which the Upper Peninsula (or U.P.) is technically part of. Most vowels, namely, are drawn out. For example, in words like "snow", "O" is pronounced as "sno-o-oh", but in the word coffee it sounds like "caahfee". "A" is usually pronounced "ah" like "sno-o-oh caht". DialectOne of the most common things Yoopers do is to eliminate the verb "to be" in front of the verb "to go". For example, if a Yooper wishes to express that he or she is going hunting, he or she states "I go deer camp", and if a Yooper wants to ask you to go somewhere with him or her, "Go Green Bay?" is usually what they say. Like Canadians, Yoopers will often punctuate the ends of their sentences with "Eh", which is derived from the English "hey" and is used to denote a statement the other person is sure to agree with. "Cripes, sure is snowing, eh?" "Yah, you betcha."[1] "Th" is pronounced as a hard "D". "Dem" instead of "them", "da" instead of "the", and so on. Insane Love Of SnowfallYoopers regard the prospect of getting three feet of snow in one night with glee, and brag frequently about the amount of snow the U.P. gets. This behavior is inexplicable. The behavior may stand as a coping mechanism in dealing with 30 feet of snowfall a year. Another coping mechanism used, is taking steam baths called saunas (pronounced sa-OOnah) at temperatures of around 200 degrees fahrenheit, then jump in a snow drift in `20-below' weather. FoodYoopers are incredibly fond of two main types of food: coffee and pasties (pAAH-stee). Pasties are about the size of both your fists, and are a complete meal of beef, carrots, potatoes and/or rutabagas, and other types of vegetables wrapped in a flaky pastry shell. These are best eaten with ketchup, and can sustain a person for most of a day [2]. Not surprising, when you know that they were invented by Cornish (UK) miners, who, by the way, are famous for their pasties. Also, we shouldn't forget about pickled eggs; anyone who's ever been to the world famous B&B bar in Houghton knows that pickled eggs are the finest thing about living in the Upper Peninsula. Yoopers are mischievous creatures, fond of playing tricks on "trolls", their term for their fellow Michiganders who live below the Mackinaw bridge. Yoopers enjoy jabbering away at a confused tourist, who is certain the native they have encountered is speaking some foreign language. Yoopers can be suspicious of outsiders, especially if one does not have knowledge about smelting (fishing for tiny fish called smelt, with nets, in the spring), hunting, snowmobiling, or taking saunas. One sure fire way to earn the ridicule of a Yooper is to partake in a sauna not completly naked. If pressed by a Yooper to declare allegiance to a sports team, the proper response is "Go Packers!" or "How 'bout dem Wings?" In short, when one comes up face to face with a Yooper, a way to diffuse any potential trouble is to ask their opinion on how much snow the U.P. is likely to get, how the (Green Bay, Wisconsin) Packers or (Detroit, Michigan) Red Wings are doing, if they had a good smelt run this year, and then ask where the nearest place is to get a good pasty and a cup of coffee. This is the safest way of dealing with this unique breed of folk, and is sure to win a new friend.
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